Monday, February 20, 2012

The Chronicles of Whole Dried Blueberries


2/15/12 9:52 AM (San Jose)
Well, I suppose there isn’t much to do on a thirteen-hour flight. This is my first entry in what is going to be a terrible, boring, small, self-entertaining series of uninteresting times of my life.
The movies on every flight are unusually boring with the mercilessly loud droning of the jet engines and usually someone terribly annoying sits next to me. Right now, however, I’m sitting at gate A7 with a couple of other strangers around me. No cute single girl yet. I managed to get an aisle seat next to the emergency exit so I get all the legroom and exit-door responsibility. Let’s just pray that nothing bad happens. And the flight attendants just arrived… *cue James May’s awkward flirting* Hello.
I suppose I should take this time to thank my best friend Secret Asian for keeping me company via text message. She will be dearly missed. :[
And why is it that some of the flight attendants are taller than some of the pilots… strange.
Now go watch the music video for Brandon Heath’s “Give Me Your Eyes.”

6:04 PM (San Jose)
Not much has changed since half a day ago. And I’m still sitting in the exact same spot and position I was in… hours ago. I’ve gone to the bathroom three times, had one meal, two snacks, three drinks, and a few movies. The guy next to me pulled a small lever he thought was a cup holder. And it wasn’t a cup holder, especially since the lever is on the emergency door. *gasp*
Sitting next to where all the food is has its perks. Instant snack requests and unbelievable leg room are just two of them. Although now that I think about it, it is a bit strange having a flight attendant sit in front of me and waiting.

8:30 PM (San Jose)
I’ve gone to the bathroom four times, had two meals, two snacks, five drinks, and another movie. “Moneyball” is pretty good. Hooray for Brad Pitt.
Movies are so unappreciated. I only just realized a few minutes ago that I only have about another three to four hours left of the flight. And all that time has passed without any sleep, just movie after movie after movie. And there is a sudden urge to shoot a Nerf rocket over the cubicle walls at work.
Did you know that Korean Air gives out disposable slippers to the passengers? At first, I thought these were those sleeping-eye-covering-thingy things, but I see everyone with their shoes off and wearing white slippers. How cool is that. I’m keeping my unopened ones as a souvenir.
And another realization. If I don’t sleep until the actual sleeping time in Korea, then I’ll feel properly sleepy enough to sleep properly in the proper time zone. That’s proper.
We’re about to fly over Japan now… I’ve gone to the bathroom while traveling at 453 miles per hour.

3:15 AM (San Jose)
I arrived here at Incheon International Airport at around 12:30 PM local time. My back is stiff, my legs are sticks, and yet I’m not sleepy at all.
And I turned into a popsicle.
The end. (More updates coming soon!)

2/17/12 10:01 AM (local time)
So it’s the first morning since I’ve gotten here. I spent the morning packing (again) and now I’m waiting at another airport terminal for my 11:25 flight to Jeju Island. Living without Facebook is… well, torturous. But thankfully the free WiFi at the airport saved the day!
There is something strangely calming about seeing airplanes parking and leaving the airfield. Sort of like watching big blue whales being pulled around by little fish… Okay, maybe that’s a bad analogy. But hopefully you get my point.
I never appreciated walking as much as I should have. In San Jose, there really isn’t anywhere you can go or anything you can do without a car. Public transportation is the way to go, and walking around lets you do people-watching and explore everything around you. I want food.
And my bed at home is pink. Real men sleep on pink sheets, pink pillows, and pink blankets.
And I apologize for my decreasing attention span. I feel so distracted by everything around me that I float around from topic to topic in my own head. And I want food. And I should take better care of my GoPro camera’s casing… The pictures are starting to come out with small spots of blurs because of smudges.

3:37 PM (local time)
Chilling on top of my grandparents’ building is pretty fun. It was snowing about an hour ago here and the wind is pretty beastly. San Jose weather is officially weak sauce. Really, really weak.
I don’t think the fact that I’m going to be here for almost a year has really hit me. I feel like I’m still on vacation, and I suppose I am until classes start. Although the transition might not be much for other people, this really is a big step for me since I’ve spent most of my life in the same place.
Can seagulls fly upside down?

2/19/12 9:03 AM (local time)
Thank goodness for quick time-zone adjustment in my internal clock. I’ve had a pretty good day yesterday, but we’ve been sort of snowed in today, which gives me a good amount of time to adjust to my new glasses. Thanks to my aunt for being my fashion guru.
Unfortunately, because of the snow and frozen ground, I’m stuck in the house today. Only a television, push-ups, new iPhone, and glasses to entertain me. Hopefully the weather clears up and the snow melts later in the morning or early afternoon!

2/20/12 11:13 PM (local time)
I suppose I’ve fully adjusted to being in Korea, although using public transport and not being able to defend myself with the right words is going to be hard to get used to.

Check back soon for another random and interestingly uninteresting interesting argument with Secret Asian!
http://www.adamcansino.com/files/gimgs/16_the-flying-blueberry2.gif

Monday, February 6, 2012

Chuck Finley is real.

Nine days until the inevitable happens... Oh dear. And a more serious blog topic (unlike the usual sensible nonsense) was supposed to come next, but that will come later on!

Anyway, I was passing another lovely Sunday afternoon when suddenly the random inspiration lobe of my brain had a fart. If a big blue genie came up to me and told me he could grant me three wishes (in accordance with the terms set in Aladdin), what would those three wishes be?
  1. The ability to read, speak, and write any language fluently
    Imagine the possibilities. I could confuse people to the ragged edge of sanity, communicate in Japanese with my best friend/blogging nemesis, ace any language courses, flirt with Korean chicks... I mean, study with fellow students in the motherland while abroad.
  2. Telepathy
    Some things in life just cannot and should not be put into words. Sometimes feelings are incapable of being translated into words. Unfortunately, the human body is incapable of having a WiFi card installed.
  3. Teleportation
    Oh how convenient life would be if I could do that. But being able to teleport sort of takes out the significance and meaning of setting apart time for friends and family, because it means a lot that one would take time to get to and from the people they want to be with. 

    I did almost make a wish for the ability to read minds (which differs from telepathy because telepathy does not allow me to intrude on another person's mind without permission, it is the transfer of feelings/knowledge/poop. Mind-reading is mind-blastingly mind-hacking.). Thinking over it, however, the ability to read minds is both a gain and loss. It is a gain in the sense that, well, I can read minds. But it is a loss in that there is no longer the barrier of speech that blocks unfriendly feelings and comments, and whatever is thought of me is thrown at me mercilessly thanks to my inability to not use a mind-reading ability.

    My three wishes are obviously not the most creative. *Insert sad face* On a brighter note, Chuck Finley is someone not to be messed with. Neither is Chuck Testa. And Chuck Norris. *Insert very happy face* CHUCK FINLEY FOR LIFE.

    For another wishful list of wishes, wishfully visit Secret Asian's blog and see what she would like from the genie!
    http://asianslikerice.blogspot.com/
    http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4300000/Sam-Axe-Chuck-Finley-Wallpaper-burn-notice-4396774-1280-800.jpg

    Tuesday, January 17, 2012

    The beginning of an end, or the end of a beginning?

    For the great number of followers who have kept up with my posts (and Secret Asian's), thank you for your unwavering loyalty and support!

    Sort of.

    So the year 2011 has passed, and 2012 has come along to take its place.  Everything seems to have stayed the same... Apart from the complete lack of rain and snow everywhere (with the exception of places buried in snow right now). The number of days I have left in San Jose is continuing to shrink at the rate of one day per day, and no matter what I do to slow it down, nothing seems to work. It still hasn't hit me with sufficient force that in less than a month, I will be more than five thousand miles away from a place I called home for the past twelve or so years of my life, a place full of people I love... and intensely dislike ("hate" is a strong word). I'm sure that the Motherland will have much to offer me, but walking into the unknown is not in my playbook. Ninja Tuna must think outside of the box for the next few weeks!

    This new segment of my life poses some questions. What is it that I want to accomplish this year? Are there any actually reasonable New Year's resolutions?
    1. Cardio.
      -Not what you think. I don't mean physical cardio, but more in terms of endurance of the mind and heart. 2011 had its ups and downs (although more ups), but whatever is thrown at us in 2012 should only slow us down temporarily. If it knocks us over, we can choose to get back up (cliche, I know). Keep your head strong and don't lose hope! And always wear a helmet when bicycling, it will keep your head strong as well.
    2. Accept and adapt.
      -Personally, this is the most difficult one. This doesn't apply to most of you out there, but in my situation, I feel like I am being thrown into a cage of lions that I've met from time to time but don't know how they will behave in this day and age. Either they will become best of friends with me, or a coroner is going to have to explain to my family and friends why I am missing some parts of my body.
    3. Enjoy the little things.
      -This one is pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy the little things.
    4. Promote flying cows.
      -Every website, organization, or television show has a thing to promote or endorse. I am promoting flying cows because they are unfortunately underrated.

    And just a side-note! Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol recently came out, and I went to see that. Just one name: Simon Pegg. Forget Tom Cruise, he's part of the movie because he is Ethan Hunt. Simon Pegg is the new face of Mission Impossible. I wish I were Simon Pegg. Or specifically, Benjy. Benjy is awesome. His British accent is awesome. His tech knowledge is awesome. His name is awesome. His sense of humor is awesome. His interview on Top Gear is awesome... No wait, that's Simon Pegg.

    ---

    And another note!
    How terrible of me not to have thought of this until after reading Secret Asian's blog post... She must not think of me too highly at the moment! My message to Secret Asian:

    I. Am. Going. To. Miss. You. In fact, I already do. There are no good words to describe what I'm leaving behind with you, so I'm going to have to end this here for now. Better words to come later when... er, the time comes.

    And my message to the readers of our blogs:

    Keep reading.

    ---

    When all ya gotta do is gone
    Read her blog
    Read her blog
    Like I know ya do.
    http://asianslikerice.blogspot.com/
    http://d1535dk28ea235.cloudfront.net/preset_65/flying_cow.jpg

    Wednesday, December 14, 2011

    Stanley doesn't have same-sex friends.

    Freedom is here!

    Unfortunately, freedom has only been given to Ninja Tuna, and Secret Asian is still incarcerated in study sessions for her remaining few finals... while texting her friends about Jesus loving cleavage.

    For those of you who have completed final exams, congratulations. You have lived well beyond the life expectancy set by the goblins who brought upon you the tyranny of final exams. Now go home and relax, game all day, hang out with your friends. Act like none of this ever happened. Because it never did. In fact, this whole world isn't real. You are alone. Forever alone.

    Until finals are over, there will probably be no posts on Secret Asian's blog. Do not click on the link (even though it's here) because there will be nothing to look at.
    http://asianslikerice.blogspot.com/
    http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/foreveralone08.jpg

    Sunday, December 11, 2011

    When flying cows just aren't satisfying.

    Rest in peace, Ninja Tuna and Secret Asian...
    ...Until the week of the 12th is over, anyway. Then the two bloggers will come back from the blogging after-world just like the baby Jesus.

    Unfortunately, it is that time of the year again. Universities feel that at around beginning to mid-December, students just have too much time and happiness. The solution deemed fitting to this problem? A menacing, inhumane, impractical, disruptive, violent, torturous, debilitating practice called "final exams".

    For those of you who have regularly checked this blog ("regular" meaning at least once a year), you may have noticed that Secret Asian has not yet had the chance to blog her side of the last post called "Infantile pillocks". What the media has (or hasn't) said is the truth. The truth that the California education system has taken harmless hostage of Secret Asian and has begun a not-so-harmful series of experiments that consists of five finals. Five. Finals. Over the span of just a few days.

    Join me, one year from now, on the 11th of December to fight effortlessly against the tyranny of final exams. For all who have been oppressed shall rise and take back the freedom that... er, never existed.

    "Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
    -V, V for Vendetta

    "At last, Aaron attributed an abstract of attention acquisition to such an aged appearance; an absurdity averagly acrimoniously assaulted with aggressive ardor. Alas, such avidity I appraise as avoidable avarice, and alternatively I allocate to you simply... apathy."
    -JJ, friend on Facetube/Youbook 

    Having not taken the time to study both quotes, I honestly have no idea what they mean.

    Best wishes to all who are taking finals. May the Force be with you.

    For a forthcoming fantastic freewrite by Secret Asian, feel free to forage her blog page for the next fortnight.
    http://asianslikerice.blogspot.com/

    UPDATE:
    My wonderful friend apparently has a Tumblr! Remember to check it out, you're in for a treat. :]
    http://asianslikerice.tumblr.com/